


Infidelity

by princedimitri (teddyhammy)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Cheating, Forbidden Love, Infidelity, Lots of Angst, M/M, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Unhealthy Relationships, everyone is just yelling at everyone, its like a soap opera in here, no one knows how to talk about their feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 05:35:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21405040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddyhammy/pseuds/princedimitri
Summary: Married since they were 17, Felix and Dimitri both have a rocky relationship. With their marriage in shambles, Dimitri goes off to war in hopes of killing Edelgard.Left alone, Felix ponders his feelings towards his husband until he has the most unusual company. His old childhood friend Sylvain has been tasked to protect him from incoming assassins, and a secret love affair blossoms.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so! This was originally supposed to be a one shot, but as I continued to write I started to realize... this is much longer than I had anticipated. Thank you for reading this. I hope you enjoy!

> There was once a time the King of Faerghus loved the King Consort.

They were so young when they married, and even younger engaged. The courting process started when they were but children. Rodrigue and Lambert agreed early into their fatherhood that they would join their houses together in marriage.

With the birth of Glenn, and Lambert’s Dimitri, the two waited for the possibility of a daughter. When Felix was born, Glenn was already promised to Ingrid. Rodrigue’s wife tried and tried again to have another child, but they knew after awhile it was not going to happen. It was then when the two men saw the connection Felix and Dimitri shared as young children, and the marriage was planned.

Lambert taught Dimitri since he was but a child how to properly court. All royalty learned the customs on how to court your betrothed the day they were arranged. It certainly changed the friendship between the two boys, but as the proper prince he was, Dimitri was always extra kind to Felix, making the young duke fall quickly in love with his betrothed.

When the tragedy of Duscar struck, both Felix and Dimitri clung to one another, desperate to keep each other after loosing so much. Dimitri sat on Felix’s bed, shaking greatly, to which Felix rested his head on his shaking shoulder, grabbing his hand tightly.

It would be very hard to not love Dimitri. He was always so polite and kindhearted. He would kiss Felix’s hands after they would walk in the gardens and write love letters. There wasn’t much to dislike about him… until everything went wrong.

Towards the beginning of their marriage, Dimitri had been as he always was. A kindhearted husband, and good man. But when the young prince had found his step-sister to be the masked assassin; his sanity destroyed, he began to be consumed by hate.

There was little of the old Dimitri left. The man that Felix had known and married was left at the monastery. There was more talk of Edelgard than anything anymore. Dimitri would scoff at the rational ideas of his counsel, to which he just harshly argued back. Felix had to witness these councils, and get angrier at his husband for his bluntness. When these meetings finish, Dimitri would call Felix to his bed and take out his frustrations on his spouse. There was once a time that Dimitri would make love to Felix, but now it felt like a task that Dimitri did to only calm down the several forms of frustration he felt.

It was often that Felix would have to apologize on the behalf of his husband. Felix wondered if he even loved Dimitri anymore. He angered him so often. They were both just ticking time bombs.

There wasn’t a time the two of them would talk like normal people. They didn’t have calm conversations anymore; they were always at each others throats. It was a screaming match every night, and the whole kingdom knew it.

The nobles would whisper amongst another as they would see Felix walk down the halls. Dimitri scared them, as his anger raged and took it out on anyone that defied him. The nobles would scoff at Felix, as the rumors started to fester.

> "What is he even doing?"  
"He’s a frigid Northen prude, he’s probably not satisfying the King."  
"He’s always arguing with our King, doesn't he know his place?"

Felix typically didn’t care. It was true in some sense, to say that he could be frigid. He didn’t take people arguing with him lightly. Despite Dimitri being his husband, Felix certainly didn't let him get away with it.

Late nights they either argued or angrily bedded one another. Whatever they had, it was gone. Felix didn’t even refer to him as Dimitri anymore, for he didn't feel like he know this man, or so this animal. The boar- he called him.

> “Do you ever realize how reckless you are!? Do you ever think about anything but yourself? Do you ever think about your army and all the thousands of lives you take!?” Felix roared at Dimitri.
> 
> “You keep your mouth shut now.” Dimitri said gritting his teeth.
> 
> “Of course, shut me down when you don’t have anything to say.”
> 
> Dimitri stood up from his chair and walked over to Felix standing above him, trying to intimidate. Felix stood his ground, hiding his fear, looking up at Dimitri in his eyes.
> 
> “I don’t have to explain myself to you, or anyone. The only thing that matters now is Edelgard’s head finding its way on my spear.”
> 
> Felix bit down, and furrowed his brows. He stuck his face near Dimitri’s and said, “if I have to hear one more thing about that damn Adrestian bitch, I will tear down our armies faster than you ever could. You are nothing but a shell of a man.”

Dimitri was taken aback, and on impulse grabbed at the plate on his desk and threw it at Felix’s feat. Felix jumped back in fear and looked up at his husband. Dimitri paused as he looked down at the broken chips and something primal found its way into his impulse. He grabbed more of the Felix’s belongings on the table and began to smash them on the walls and floor.

> “YOU MUST LEARN WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO.” Dimitri roared as he began to walk closer to Felix.

Felix backed away from him until he hit the wall. Dimitri grabbed at Felix’s arms and pinned him even more to the wall; he had nowhere to run. Felix tried to slow his breath but he could not deny the intense fear he had felt in that moment.

> “I am the king. This country belongs to me. These armies belong to me. You belong to me. Whatever I say is law.”

Felix tried to push him away, with some success. Dimitri loosened his grip and for a moment looked as if he regretted what he had done. Felix felt something inside him, and without hesitation looked upon him and said “why did the goddess make me love such a hateful man.”

He pushed him aside and walked out of the door weeping. Nobles had gathered near their room to hear all the problems and misery their King Consort had felt. He pushed them aside without hesitation and ran to the gardens.

————

Felix spent most of his days away from Dimitri. He loved him in such a horrible way. He loved him despite everything Dimitri had ever done to him. It was something he couldn’t let go of. Dimitri was apart of his life, whether he liked it or not. He was by his side when he was but a child; he was the man he vowed the rest of his life to. Yet he was the man who had said such horrible things to him.

Felix for the first time in awhile felt completely alone. His father did everything in the world for his son-in-law, even at the cost of his own son’s happiness. Rodrigue would condemn his own son, for he blamed him in being the main problem in their marriage. He would listen to the nobles and their cheap gossip because he knew of Felix’s temper.

> “You need to be kinder to your husband Felix. You are to be his shoulder to lean on. You must satisfy him. He is your king.” Rodrigue would scold.

He always heard, “He is your king.” He might’ve been Felix’s king, but he was no longer a man. He was no longer a monarch, he was no longer a husband.

He let the anger fester inside him more and more. He was expected to yell at this man all night and still have to share his bed. He always felt like the bed was empty, despite his king sleeping right by.

One night, he looked in the moonlight of Dimitri. He saw all the scars that he mapped out on his body. He debated on reaching out his hand, to try to wrap his hands around him. If it weren't for the real possibility of Dimitri shoving him away, he would've done it.

Despite all of his anger and frustrations, Felix was lonely above all else. He always hid away his true emotions with layers of barking orders and angry comebacks. He wanted love before everything.

Sometimes in those rare days, Dimitri would cling to Felix and cry upon his shoulder. He would whisper about all the voices in his heads and all the lives he couldn't save. Felix would hold Dimitri and kiss his scars. It was those rare moments that kept Felix from hating him so.

Dimitri began to head off to the front lines, eyes full of blood thirst. Before he set off, the King had to collect his things, and was met by the court and all of its nobles. Felix stood before him, unsure of what to say. He wouldn't be able to see Dimitri for months, which only increased his loneliness. He had to say something, he didn’t know if this could be the last time. Dimitri turned to him, and looked him directly in the eye.

> “Farewell my king. I will pray for your safe return,” he said in such a low voice. It was a small moment he would let himself be vulnerable. He leaned over to Dimitri and kissed his cheek. Dimitri nodded and walked at the door. All eyes returned to Felix after the King departed.  
Felix walked away to leave time for them to gossip among themselves about the frigid King consort.

Felix sat at his windowsill, not wanting to leave his room. He wrapped blankets around his body to keep himself warm in the winter as he watched his husband depart.

He spent most of his time walking the halls, wishing he could be on the front lines. Not necessarily only for Dimitri, but everyone knew that Felix was deadly on the battle field. Little could challenge his swordsmanship. He wished to take his anger out on enemies, he wished to fight. It wasn’t Dimitri who objected to it- in fact, he believed that Dimitri would actually wish him to be there. Another killing machine to destroy the Adrestian Empire. It was the council that forced him to stay. The said that Felix had to stay for if they lost the king and his consort, it would leave the kingdom in disaster.

Felix began to read in the gardens one afternoon. When he had reached supper time he walked into the castle to be greeted by a bunch of giggling noble girls in the corner. They bowed as they saw Felix with a little curtsy and a “your majesty.”

Felix didn’t mean to pry on their conversations but couldn't help to hear them gossip.

> "Oh when do you think he’s coming?"  
"I don’t know but I brought flowers just for his arrival."  
"I heard his hair is rich as his flowery words."  
"Well I heard he wins the hearts of every maiden."

Could that be? No it couldn’t possibly… Felix pondered for a minute. He had to be with Dimitri in the front lines. There’s no way Dimitri would allow such a skilled knight to not be by his side on the battlefield.

Felix sat down for the council meeting later in the day. The nobleman talked amongst themselves, as the large absence and empty chair lingered in everyone’s minds.

> “It has come to our attention that Hubert, of the Adrestian army has hired mercenaries to assassinate you, your majesty.” It took a moment for Felix to process what had been said. “It seems to be that their is a spy among our troops and an interrogation is being done. But for now your majesty, your safety is of paramount importance.”  
With a big sigh, Felix processed completely what had been said. “What of my husband?”

The council was taken aback. Felix himself even couldn't understand why he had said such a thing. No one could understand the true feelings of their King Consort on the King, as did Felix.

> “We have the best soldiers around him at all times to protect him. General Dedue and Ingrid have dispatched with the King along with their armies.” The Chairman responded.

With a nod Felix looked up at the council. “Very well. And who is to protect me?” Even though, down deep inside he knew the answer.

> “Sir Sylvain of House Gautier, your Majesty.” As he has suspected. There were no other philandering red knights. His childhood friend… he wondered what had happened to him. After the monastery, Dimitri kept Felix mostly in the castle away from the other people who he once called friends and classmates.
> 
> Felix nodded. “Very well. Thank you.” There was more to discuss. As the council talked among themselves about the financial situations and changes that could be made for the kingdom. Felix was present, but his mind was elsewhere.

What had happened to Sylvain? By now he must’ve been married too, with children and some more coming along the way. Felix knew that Sylvain was loose, and flirted with any woman that batted their eyelashes at him, and they adored him so for it. He certainly had a field day during the monastery years. He would tease at Felix even, although he had never brought it any further for Dimitri was always in the picture.

During that time Dimitri was civil and kindhearted. Sylvain knew him well, as they all had grown up together. His teasing always never meant a thing, or so he thought.

When the council ended, Felix got up and walked to his bedroom. He fell asleep in their large bed. He would certainly have to get used to the emptiness of it.


	2. Sylvain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! I'm posting most of these in bulk. I still don't really know how to tab my paragraphs because I am still pretty new in writing my stuff so don't clock me too hard for that. 
> 
> Anyhoo, enjoy!

> “He’s here! He’s here!” The noble girls rushed to the gates and looked out of the windows. They carried their flower crowns and handkerchiefs just to hope for acknowledgment from that handsome knight.

Felix walked to the doors. And sure as ever, Sylvain made his way into the castle. The girls giggled, and lined up to great the newcomer. Felix looked deeply at Sylvain. He certainly grew within the five years they spent apart.

His hair was still the same. He grew a little taller and his facial features grew a little more rugged. He wore his armor with pride, with just the hint of fur from a rabbit’s hide seeping at the top of the metal plates. He was very handsome. It would be hard to not think so.

Sylvain made his way over to Felix and with a bow, grabbed Felix’s hand and kissed the top of it. “You’re majesty.” He said with a smile.

Felix scoffed and pulled away his hand with a laugh. Well… that was certainly still Sylvain. As flirtatious and air headed as usual. “Welcome,” was all the Felix could say.

—————————————  
Once the pleasantries of the greeting ceremony was over, Sylvain stepped away from all of the adoring girls to talk with Felix who left the celebration early to walk among the flowers in the gardens.

> “Hey, Hey! Your Majesty! Already making my job harder than it has to be are you?” Sylvain said running behind to catch up to Felix.
> 
> “Oh stop with the ‘your majesty’ nonsense. You and I have known each other since we were young. I was Felix then and I shall be Felix now.” It did bother Felix when people addressed him as such. He often told that to his ‘subjects’ as the royal title never suited him well.
> 
> Sylvain responded with a laugh. “Oh yes I know. But it’s so fun.”
> 
> Felix rolled his eyes and began to walk deeper into the gardens. It was getting colder outside, the flowers wouldn’t be here much longer. Sylvain started to shuffle faster towards Felix as he walked ahead. They started to walk by one another.
> 
> “How are you Felix? It’s been years since we last talked.”

Felix paused for a moment. It had been a long time since someone asked him how he was. Dimitri never cared, and his own father even brushed aside his problems. That’s just how Sylvain was. He was always a good friend since childhood.

> “I am alright. Nothing really to complain about.” He lied.
> 
> “Well that’s not what I hear.” Sylvain said with a laugh.
> 
> Felix furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”
> 
> “Well… we all know how Dimitri has been. I’m sure he is not a kind husband at the moment. Everyone can tell.” Felix stopped dead in his tracks. Anger boiled up inside of him. That’s also just how Sylvain was. Trying his hardest to make sure he knew every little detail.
> 
> “I don’t think that is any of your concern, and might I say quite rude. I will not speak ill of my husband while he is away.” Felix hated the things he said. He didn’t mean it. He would love to complain about how awful Dimitri had been, but he didn’t know where those words would end up. He didn’t know if Sylvain would spill to the next skirt he saw fishing for gossip.
> 
> “Oh but when he’s here you will?” Sylvain said with a chuckle.
> 
> Felix gave him an intense glare. Sylvain threw his hands in the air. “Hey I’m just kidding! Sorry!” There was silence for a minute.
> 
> “How have you been though? Did you lock yourself up in the castle just to avoid talking to me?” He laughed again at his stupid little comments.
> 
> “Well… I had to find some way to get away from you.” Felix even chuckled a little back. It had been such a long time since Felix had a real smile. He missed being around others- being with only Dimitri for most of the past five years had really messed with Felix.

Sylvain was Felix’s best friend since childhood. He missed talking to him, and being around him. Although Sylvain could be so insufferable sometimes.

> “I’m sure your wife is thrilled to move into the castle.” Felix said. He didn’t know why he even brought the possibility up. Maybe it was a way to just probe Sylvain on his love life, but why did he care?
> 
> “Oh flattering, Felix. Thank you for the thought. But thankfully I haven’t been tied down yet. This war is an excuse to prolong my bachelor days perhaps. Someday I know my father is going to hitch me to some fancy noblewoman to have some of my crest babies. But for now I have no commitments. You’re the old married broad here.”

Felix rolled his eyes. He was shocked however, Sylvain always talked about how he wanted to mess around in the monastery days cause his father was going to marry him off as soon as he could. What had stopped him?

After a few more hours of catching up in the gardens, eventually Felix felt drowsy and started to make his way back to his room. Sylvain still joined him, and up until they reached his door they had chatted and even shared a few laughs.

When Felix got to the room, he opened it, but stayed at the door frame. Felix turned to look at Sylvain. For once he should be genuine- he had been lying to the nobles, and himself for that matter, for so long. He always presented himself so angry and bitter when in reality he always just wanted to be kinder. It was Dimitri who made him so.

> “Thank you Sylvain. It was really nice to talk to you today. I had missed our chats.” He said with the slight turn of a smile.
> 
> Sylvain’s face lit up. With a big smile and a chuckle, “yes absolutely! It was really wonderful to talk to you again.” Felix let nodded his head has he smiled back at him. He turned to close the door, but Sylvain’s hand fell upon his and he looked into his eyes, “I know it’s hard for you to open up but… if you need anyone to talk to… I’m here.”

It was an intimate moment. A moment that had lasted longer than it should have. Felix nodded once again at his words “Thank you.” was all he could say. Anything else could be dangerous.

> “Well goodnight!” Sylvain said as he began to turn, and Felix responded with a quiet, “…goodnight” and turned into his room.

He was lonely again. The emptiness in the room felt worse than usual. The weeks he spent alone were lonely, but with Sylvain in his life again, he just really remembered how isolated he truly was. He had only Dimitri for the past five years.

He laid down in the bed once again and felt the absence. He thought about Sylvain and how for the first time in months he felt happier. Sylvain always did make him laugh, and it only just hit Felix now how much he truly missed him. He was someone always important him, even if he never really voiced it to him.

He should tell him how much he truly cared for him. He hid away all of his emotions with layers of anger and snarky comebacks. He wished he could go back to being kinder, he wanted to be the boy he was in his childhood.

He shifted in the sheets again, unable to sleep. He looked off into the empty room and eventually fell asleep after a few hours of staring at the painting of Dimitri on the wall.


	3. Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still working on the tabs. Will kinda look dumb. I apologize ahead of time, like I said- still pretty new to all of this. Hope you enjoy! This is the steamy part lmao.

Felix made his way to the table to eat his breakfast. He sat amongst the nobles and they talked to one another as he sat at the head of the table. Dimitri used to sit there, he was always reminded of him no matter where he was. 

> “Good morning” Sylvain sat next to him at the table. Felix let out a small smile. 
> 
> “Morning.” He replied. They shuffled in their seats and grabbed at the food and passed it around to one another. With few sips of their drinks and a lot more chatter, it seemed that Felix’s morning was already starting off better than usual. 

After they finished up they spent the time at the stables as Sylvain tended to his horse and talked about all the heroic things he did as a knight and all the made up stories of how courageous and terrifying he was. He must’ve fabricated some of the nonsense he said but certainly there was some truth to it. Sylvain was a fantastic knight and solider he just loved to fib a little of his adventures and Felix could see right through it. 

Felix knew Sylvain well enough to understand the small little intricate quirks he had. They truly were as close as they were when they were children. 

* * *

A couple of weeks passed and it seemed that Felix and Sylvain spent most of their time around one another, and people began to notice. They wondered what could be happening and all the little conversations they had. Rumors flew around how they were plotting to overthrow the king together when in reality they would just talk about all the silly stories they kept in their memories from their childhood. 

It was rare to see Felix so happy. They would talk about everything but the few deep conversations of their love lives as it was a topic that both of them knew would end in disaster. 

Sometimes Sylvain talked about how the pressures of his house would follow him and the loss of his brother. Felix would talk about how he felt isolated and constantly conflicted with all of the emotions inside of him.It was those rare moments that they would open up and be vulnerable to one another. They never would talk too long about it- for the longer they lingered around it the easier it was to ruin everything. 

Felix was always a good person to his core, but he began to question himself and the things he thought. Sylvain shouldn't be on his mind as much as he was. He shouldn't have looked at his hands and his lips and his… he had to stop. It wasn't fair to Dimitri. No matter how horrible he had been, he still was his husband and he still loved him despite everything. These were just some sinful thoughts that he tried to push away and forget about, but couldn't with Sylvain being around him so often. 

After Sylvain had been with Felix for over two months they sat down in the library and read together for a few hours. As usual Sylvain walked with Felix to his bedroom and they kept their idle chitchat as Sylvain remarked on how the romantic protagonist in the novel he read reminded him of himself and Felix would scoff at the idea. 

Felix stayed at the room dorm frame and chatted with Sylvain but kept the door a little more open than usual. Sylvain looked over to the room and saw the window and how the moonlight shone on the bed sheets. 

> “Oh how beautiful!” Sylvain said. Felix stood there puzzled for a little bit, but then turned around. He realized that Sylvain truly never saw his bedroom really- and how he didn't see the beautiful window with its stained glass and colors decorated his bedroom. What’s the harm in letting him look? 

> “You can come in to see it before I head off to bed.” Felix opened up the door to let Sylvain in and turned around and headed further into the room. 
> 
> “Oh okay. Thank you.” Sylvain followed him in and walked up to the window. He smiled even brighter and Felix sat down at the table near it. 
> 
> “It’s very beautiful. Did Dimitri commission for it?” Sylvain turned around. There he was again. No matter where and what was happening Felix would always be reminded of him. His husband. His love. 
> 
> “Yes. He had such a creative eye. He designed some of the images as well. He really did do a lot before.” Felix responded. 
> 
> “Before…” 
> 
> “Yeah. Before he went berserk.” Felix sighed. He shouldn’t be saying these things. 
> 
> “Yeah well… you didn’t really get into that one before. I mean- don’t get me wrong I think all of Faerghus understands that Dimitri really isn’t in the right mindset but… I had least hoped he was a good husband.” 
> 
> “He is. Well… he was. I don’t know. I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.” Felix said as he stood up and Sylvain caught his arm. They both looked at each other. 
> 
> “No Felix. You don’t deserve that. You should be able to talk about your problems especially if you are unhappy in your marriage.” Felix pushed his hand away and got a little angry. This was none of Sylvain’s business. 
> 
> “Oh what would you know? You’re not even married, why are _you_ giving _me_ advice?” Sylvain was taken aback. It was clear the pain Felix had brought him. Felix regretted saying it afterwards. He didn't need to be mean. 
> 
> “Yeah you’re right I’m not married. But I know you shouldn’t be treated this way…” He paused and Felix didn't say a thing. “Look… I know you think I whore around and never want to settle down because I have girls that throw themselves at me and that I’m just some indecisive casanova that never wants commitment. But the real reason Felix was because I was in love with someone, okay?” 
> 
> Felix paused in shock for a minute. No he couldn't possibly mean… 
> 
> “And… he was married. To my best friend. So of course I couldn't say anything. And I shouldn't be saying anything but I…” They both sat in silence for a few moments or two. “Look I’m so sorry I- forget I said anything.” And began to walk away fast. 
> 
> “No wait Sylvain!” Felix called out which lead Sylvain to freeze. “Don’t go I…” He paused again. Words like this he shouldn't say. “I need you.” 
> 
> Sylvain stopped walking and turned around to face Felix. “Don’t -“his voice cracked, “don’t say that if you don't mean it.” 
> 
> Felix shuffled his feet. He shouldn’t mean it, but he did. “I do. I do mean it.”   
  
Sylvain turned completely around and started to walk slowly towards Felix. He stood there in front of Felix for a few moments. The two sat in silence and stared at the other’s face, this shouldn't happen. Felix’s face was covered in the beautiful lighting from the moon that trickled into the colors of the stained glass. 

It was an unspoken thing between them. This was something that neither of them should do, and yet both wanted to worse than anything. Sylvain sighed and paused. If he did what he wanted to do, there was no going back. Dimitri was one of his best friends, despite the time apart he would always care for him. But Felix was something else entirely. They were best friends and yet- Sylvain had to ruin it all and fall for a married man. 

He shouldn't do this. No he definitely shouldn’t- it wouldn't be fair to Dimitri. But what could he do when Felix looked at him like that? 

Sylvain grabbed at Felix’s face and kissed him. The two starting off with a small first kiss, as lovers still coy and shy with each other. But then Sylvain kissed him again, harder and with more passion. Years of pent up unrequited love and pining he had felt was now being released. He dreamed of kissing Felix for so long and here he was, but in Dimitri’s room. His hands moved into Felix’s hair with Felix’s hands reaching onto Sylvain’s face. 

> Sylvain pulled away, and put his forehead onto Felix’s. They both closed their eyes, and with a sigh Sylvain said, “we shouldn't do this.” 
> 
> Felix looked up at him, “no we shouldn’t.” When the words left his mouth he began to kiss Sylvain once more as if a way to say _but I don’t care_. Sylvain kissed back and held Felix closer to him. 

Sylvain moved downwards and began to kiss on the lower half of Felix’s jaw to kiss neck. He made his way down to his collar bone till Felix was left with a few hickies. Felix threw his head back to let Sylvain just take full control of him. 

He tried to stop, but everything in him told him to continue so he did. Sylvain’s movements became so bold and his hands made his way under Felix’s clothes, with the shirt being pushed to the top of his chest. Felix let out a little moan, and so Sylvain continued. 

> “Sylvain…” Felix groaned out. He looked down onto Sylvain who continued to suck onto his collarbone. “Sylvain…” he repeated. 
> 
> Sylvain pulled away for a few moments to say “yes?” 
> 
> Felix grabbed at his shoulders, “I want to see your everything.” He moaned mid-sentence. “P-please.”

Sylvain pulled away fully and looked at Felix. The two sat there for a moment their breaths quickening. Sylvain pulled on his armor. He tried to get it off as quickly as possible. No matter how many times he had done this, his armor always was difficult to take off. He grabbed at the collar and tore away with struggle leaving only his undershirt. 

Felix while Sylvain worked on his armor took off his jacket and it’s fur collar. The both of them looked at each other with just their shirts on to which then they both took off. Felix reached out to Sylvain’s chest. He moved his hands over his scars and started to tear up. 

Sylvain had really been through so much in his life. He wondered which scars were from his dad, his bother or from battle. “hey if you keep staring at it, then you want have it on you.” Sylvain said with a laugh. 

> Felix looked up a little frustrated at him ruining such a moment. “I’m just observing.” 
> 
> Sylvain shuffled his feet and looked down to Felix, “yeah I guess each tell a story. An ugly story.” He still chuckled a little to lighten to the mood. 
> 
> “They are beautiful… cause they are on you.” Such kind words, so unusual. He hadn’t said something like that in so long. He meant every word of it. Sylvain was beautiful with all of his flaws and charm. 
> 
> “Felix…” Sylvain couldn't say anything. For once in his life he was left speechless. For the many times he's bedded someone, he’s never had anyone say such kind words. Some would even hide away his scars. It was because no one wanted to know all of his dark secrets; they didn’t care about his pain, they just were selfish and wanted perfect Sylvain with all of his snarky jokes and perfect attitude. Felix wanted all of Sylvain. He wanted every part of him, the good and the bad. 

Felix turned up to Sylvain and kissed him gently. The moment so soft- so pure in such a moment of sin. Felix had only kissed Dimitri before, he’d only made love to Dimitri. He wasn’t experienced as much as Sylvain and it showed. Sylvain grabbed at Felix’s waist and brought him closer. Felix put his arms around Sylvain’s neck and kissed him with passion and clung to him closer. He lifted up his leg to wrap around Sylvain’s waist. Sylvain then grabbed at Felix and lifted him completely. 

He carried him quickly to the bed. Their bed. This was the bed that Dimitri had slept in, and the bed that Dimitri fucked Felix. 

Felix landed on the sheets and Sylvain climbed over him. Felix made work on Sylvain’s buckle and loosened his belt. He pulled down his pants to which Sylvain finished taking off. Felix worked on his own pants afterwards and soon he was bare. 

When both of their naked bodies collided Felix gasped, it felt electric. Sylvain licked the top of Felix lip, and put his forehead onto his.

This was something special. Sylvain was something special. For the last few years all that Felix had became accustomed to was being pushed into the sheets where he hid his face and took everything as if he were being mounted by an animal. Dimitri was rough and always hid Felix away. 

> Sylvain wanted to see every part of Felix. He wanted to see every little face that he earned from him. “Please…Sylvain I… need it.” Felix croaked out. 

After some preparation, Sylvain entered Felix who let out a gasp throwing his head backwards leaving his neck open. Sylvain sucked on his neck and Felix dug his fingernails onto Sylvain’s shoulder blades. 

Sylvain thrust into Felix over and over, Felix curled his legs around Sylvain’s waist. Moaning harder than usual, despite all the times he had fucked in this bed, Felix didn’t think even for a moment of his husband. Everything was so different with Sylvain, it reminded him of what it used to be like with Dimitri. When he was in love. 

> “Felix I… I love you.” Sylvain’s hair fell onto his face as he looked down to see Felix biting down on his lip. His skin flushed as he said it, he shouldn’t say such a thing. Especially to a man in his husband’s bed. 
> 
> “..l-love you,” was all that Felix could manage. The “I” and “too” muffled out into moans. 

It should’ve been this from the start. It should’ve always had been Sylvain. 

Sylvain lent down to kiss Felix, when their lips collided Felix began to tear up. He didn’t know if was for the realization of the inevitable terrible ending or if it all or betraying someone whom he had loved. 

Words such as “I love you” Felix didn’t throw away as quickly as Sylvain. When he said such a thing, he meant it. That’s what hurt Felix the most for he knew he wasn’t lying. He was in love. 

Felix moved his face to the side to hide away his tears to which Sylvain grabbed his legs that turned sideways and repositioned himself to continue to pound into Felix. Felix bit at the pillow case, something he had done so often with Dimitri. 

They both knew this would end terribly. Was this worth everything? Felix knew the answer quite well. 

> “Harder.” Felix said almost ready. Sylvain obeyed and began to strengthen his thrusts to which Felix curled his toes to. 

Everything about this was electric. Every thrust ever breath every look every moan. All of Sylvain was too good to be true. 

> After a little while Sylvain began to tire and croaked out between thrusts, “Felix I’m… I’m close.”
> 
> Felix bit down deeper into the pillow. He was going to say something so destructive. He wanted this to stay he wanted this moment forever. He wanted Sylvain to be special. “Do it.” He moaned. “Do it… cum inside me. Make me yours.” 

Sylvain did as he was told and both reached their climax only seconds apart. Felix dug into his shoulders even harder as he began to be filled up. He was in love for sure, but should he have been? 

> Felix touched their foreheads as they caught their breaths. “You have no idea how long I wanted to do that.” Sylvain said. 
> 
> “Well I’m yours.” Felix said but he wasn’t. Dimitri would come home eventually. They would have to end this at some point. 

After cleaning themselves off mostly, and catching the breaths, they just laid there in each others arms. Felix traced his fingers around Sylvain’s arms and chest. He felt the uneven textures over the scars. He pushed his head into Sylvain’s shoulder and the two exchanged few words. It was an unspoken bond forever now. 

> After an hour had past Sylvain broke the silence. “I should leave.” 
> 
> Felix’s heart sank. “Why? Don’t go.” 
> 
> Sylvain’s eyebrows twisted in agony. He grabbed at Felix’s hand and interlocked their fingers. “Trust me… I don’t want to.” He paused and sighed. “I just don’t think seeing the king consort’s bodyguard leaving the room early in the morning would pass well by the nobility.” 
> 
> He was right. Of course he was right. This was temporary what they had. Felix nodded his head. “You’re right.” Sylvain smiled through pain. He tried to always stay positive regardless of all that he had felt. He just wanted Felix to be happy. 
> 
> “But… please. Just stay until at least the sun begins to creep into the sky.” Felix said pleading. 
> 
> “Of course.” He grabbed onto his hand even tighter. And so, Felix stayed in Sylvain’s arms until then. Hours of nothing but silence and caressing one another. When the time came Sylvain moved out of the bed and began to clothe himself. Felix sat up to watch him. 

> He finished pulling up his pants and collected his other items. Before he turned away Felix grabbed at his hand. “I… I don’t want this to be just tonight.” 
> 
> Sylvain’s grip tightened. “Me either.” He replied. 
> 
> “I know we will have to be careful… but please, I need you.” 
> 
> Sylvain looked back at him and kissed his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

He left before the sun rose completely into the sky. He returned to his own room and Felix laid down in his bed allowing himself to fully sleep. The sheets still smelled of Sylvain and all of the things they had done. All the words they spoke to one another still lingered in the room. Felix smiled to himself, and looked up to the ceiling. 

He saw the painting of Dimitri on his coronation day, and Felix’s smile faded. 


	4. Dimitri

Felix and Sylvain tried to be secretive, and with most success. They were still pining new lovers in their honeymoon phase. They would run in the gardens and chase one another. Felix had tripped and fell down a hill to which Sylvain fell along to. They both laughed, Sylvain climbed on top, only inches apart. 

No one was around. Not a single soul. Sylvain kissed Felix next to the lake. He kissed him next to the trees. He kissed him by the flowers. He kissed him everywhere he possibly could hide away from the nobles and their gossip. 

They couldn’t keep their hands off one another alone.   
  
They knew that this wouldn’t last forever and so took every single moment they could to be with one another. 

They would look at each other across the table and smile. Sylvain would sometimesmake his hands move onto Felix underneath the table cloths to which Felix had to pretend to be calm. 

In the library they kissed by the fire. It was unbearable. Always and forever they couldn’t stop. At nights they would walk back to the room and look out for nobility. Always the halls were barren and so Sylvain would walk into their room and make love to Felix all night. 

All of this was to make up for what was going to end terribly. 

Neither of them spoke about what they should’ve for so long. Dimitri sat like a thorn on both of their sides, and the longer they put off that conversation the longer the thorn stuck. 

They sat next to one another at the field. It had been weeks of them messing around and yet neither of them spoke a word about it. It had to be spoken, or else it would come crashing down harder. 

> “What are we going to do?” Sylvain broke the silence. 
> 
> “I don’t know what to tell you.” Felix said, no emotion on his face. He had to pretend to be calm and collected as he tried to be. 
> 
> “Tell me something. Anything.” Sylvain turned to look at Felix. “You don’t have to take this anymore Felix. Dimitri will tear this country apart, he will have it crashing down and we will have to pick up the crumbs and burn with him.” 

> Sylvain grabbed Felix’s hands, making Felix turn his face to look at him. “We can go. We can leave. We could go to the alliance we can be together. It could be us. We could do this.” Sylvain pleaded. 
> 
> Deep down Sylvain knew that this was just nonsense. He didn't even think about the logistics of it all. The King Consort of Faerghus couldn’t just run away with a knight to the Alliance. Edelgard was making her way to the Alliance anyhow. 
> 
> “Sylvain…” Felix looked to the ground. 
> 
> “Look I know it doesn’t make sense and we could loose everything but we could have everything.” 
> 
> “Sylvain…” Felix began to tear up. 
> 
> “I know, I know, it doesn’t make any sense but doesn’t it matter?” 
> 
> “Sylvain I can’t.” Felix managed to choke out. 
> 
> Was it because the plan didn’t make sense? Or was it because down deep inside Felix still loved Dimitri. “We… we would die. So much would go wrong there’s no way we would survive. We can just have this.” He moved his hands up to Sylvain’s face. 
> 
> Sylvain closed his eyes and touched his hand onto’s Felix. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just…” Felix moved his hands over Sylvain’s mouth. “It’s okay. I know.” 

They sat in silence again. Obviously their relationship had to just be this. This now and always. 

When they retired to bed, Felix grabbed Sylvain into bed. This time they made love but with that thorn digging deeper. When Sylvain bedded Felix he looked over to see the painting of Dimitri. It was as if he was looking at them in their corruption and judged them. It was if it was the eyes of Sothis looked down on them in all of their sin and sadness. 

He turned down to look at Felix. Felix lost in the moment closed his eyes and moaned. For the first time, when they made love he thought of Dimitri. What would it be like if Dimitri was here, pounding into Felix? What would it be like if Dimitri loved and coddled Felix and kissed all across his body. Felix had to remind himself that it would never be so again. He had to remember that it was only something he could find in Sylvain. 

When they had finished Sylvain sat with Felix playing with his hair. 

He kissed the back of Felix’s head. He stayed longer than he should’ve. When he left that morning he closed the door to see a noblewoman watering the plants near the window. 

> “Oh um… good morning my lady.” Sylvain said caught off guard. 

> The woman spilled the water on the ground seeing him leave. “It is a good morning indeed.” She said smug in her words. “What did the King Consort want with you so early in the morning?” 
> 
> “Oh! I had loaned a book from him, and I came to return it to him.” 
> 
> She nodded, unconvinced. “Very well. I hope he enjoys his book.” And turned to leave. Sylvain bit down on his lower lip. He had hoped she would be quiet about it, but he knew down deep in his heart that nobles loved gossip. 

The next day they spent together it was more quiet than usual. They sat at the table together with flowers arranged near the fireplace.

> “A woman saw me leaving your chambers this morning.” Sylvain said. 

> “Really?” Felix’s heart sank.   
  
“Yes. I mean- I don’t think one woman could destroy everything though right? I mean, surely they must think it’s just idle gossip.” 

Felix turned and bit down on his lip. “I hope so. I truly hope so.” He tried to convince himself in so many different ways that there’s no way that this could bite them in the ass one day. 

> Felix grabbed Sylvain’s hand and held onto it. “It’s worth it.” Sylvain tightened his grip back and the two never spoke of it again despite the fear that lingered in each other because of it. 

———

A few days later while walking in the gardens once more a guard ran up to them yelling for Felix’s attention. 

> “Your majesty! Your majesty!” Felix turned to see the guard catching his breath once he had reached the two of them. 
> 
> “Yes?” Felix turned, eyebrows furrowed down. 
> 
> “It’s… it’s his Highness.” He swallowed, to catch his breath. “He’s been severely injured.” 
> 
> Felix sat there dumbfounded, in shock. Of all the times he had wished Dimitri would disappear, he didn’t actually want him to. How terrible could he be? Fucking his best friend behind his back before he dies. “Is… where is he?” 
> 
> The guard looked at Felix, “They are taking him back to the castle as we speak. He is getting medical attention, but will be brought to recover here.” Felix then nodded. 
> 
> “Thank you.” The guard saluted and then turned to walk back. 

Felix looked at Sylvain, full of fear and sadness. Sylvain looked back at him with the same look. Sylvain opened up his arms and Felix fell into them. Felix began to cry. It had been so long since he had wept. He was always crying over Dimitri. 

> “He will be fine. He is strong. He will pull through” Sylvain huffed into Felix’s hair. 
> 
> “I surely hope so.” Felix choked between sobs. 

The mood quickly changed between the two of them. The mood for the next week was somber. Felix had once again been conflicted. He loved Sylvain so why did he care so much about Dimitri? Perhaps he still loved Dimitri too.

Felix no longer invited Sylvain to his bed. He felt unholy in doing such a thing at a time like now. Sylvain understood. It was something he knew had tormented Felix with all he had done. Sylvain also had loved Dimitri and knew what they had done was wrong. Now was certainly not the time for either of them. They would have to discuss this another time. 


	5. Boar

When Dimitri arrived at the castle he was carried through a horse drawn carriage with bandages all across his body. Dedue pushed aside all the people crowding around and carried him to the bedroom. Gossip spread one another as people placed bets if the king was even going to live. 

Ingrid stood before everyone quieting down the voices. Felix and Sylvain came in attendance to understand what truly was going on. 

> “My lords and ladies. I’m sure you are all full of questions that want to be answered. By now I believe you have all heard of his Majesty’s wounds. It is true, he was hurt in battle.” Chatter erupted amongst the people whispering in terror. 
> 
> “However!” The whispers shushed. “The doctors say he will survive with intense recovery.” An overall sigh of relief hit the room. Felix stood there relieved as well. Sylvain still by his side. 
> 
> She shuffled. “We ask that you please have patience and give him the time he needs to rest. Thank you.” Once she finished she started to walk towards the room following the rest of the knights and doctors. 
> 
> Felix sat there for a moment. He wanted to see his husband but didn’t want Sylvain to feel discarded. He looked up to see Sylvain worried. “Perhaps I should visit him as he sleeps anyways.” Felix said. 
> 
> Sylvain nodded. “Yes absolutely. Take all the time you need.” He smiled, Felix could see he was holding back sadness. He was right to be upset. Felix had no right toying with him in such a time. No matter what Felix would need him in his life, but he could never leave Dimitri as much as he wanted to at times. 

Felix walked alone towards the bedroom. Dedue was standing in attention guarding the door. Ingrid talked with some officers at the side about the steps they would take to running the country while Dimitri was resting. Dedue looked down at Felix. 

> “Your majesty.” He said with a bow as he greeted Felix.   

> 
> Felix bowed back at him with a slight nod as well. “I’m going to pay a visit to my husband.” He didn’t ask. He didn't want to ask. He wanted to see Dimitri. 
> 
> “Your majesty, his highness sleeps now. Perhaps at a better time?” 
> 
> Felix bit down on his lip. “I think now is the best time.” 
> 
> Dedue bowed once again. “As you wish your majesty.” He opened the door which Felix had entered. He closed the door quieter than usual. 

The room felt much larger now. The spaces between them, the things Felix had done in this room. The bed that Dimitri slept on, the things he had done. The things Sylvain said to him, things he said back. They all floated here, above Dimitri’s sleeping body. 

He walked over to the bed. He pulled a chair to the side of it. He sat and watched as he saw the body of his husband he missed. The bandages covered his body from head to toe. His left eye completed covered in bleeding bandages, he wondered if Dimitri had lost and eye. Probably something reckless. He was doing everything so reckless now. He probably got all blood thirsty and charged to far. Maybe in some sense he wanted to die. Felix pushed the thought out of his head. 

He watched him sleep on his side. Some blood leaked out of his mouth and onto the pillow, although dry now. He sat there for awhile waiting for him to wake, but after the hours past he also dozed off and fell asleep near the bed. 

Felix awoke a little while after with the feeling of his hand being grabbed at. He looked down to see Dimitri’s hand in-between his. He looked up to see him looking at him too. 

> “…Felix. Is that really you?” He choked out. 
> 
> “Yes.” That was all Felix could manage. He was on the verge of crying and yelling at him for being so reckless and angry. 
> 
> “Felix…” He said drifted off and on again. 

Felix grabbed his hand harder to make him stay awake. He wanted him here present. 

> “I-I have been a fool. So many people have been in pain because of it. I haven't been a good husband. I haven’t been a good king.” He moved his head to look at Felix. “And I’m sorry.” He tightened his grip even harder. 

Felix winced. If he had said such things before he did such a thing… He felt so guilty; so horrible. Of course now Dimitri had been out of his rut. Now he had to apologize of all times. How could he do such a thing? How could he and Sylvain have done such a thing? 

> “It’s alright. Rest now.” Felix replied. Now was not the time to tell Dimitri. He would have to tell him another time. 

Who knows. Dimitri could even be back to his normal self soon. He could be dizzy from his wounds and medicine. He needed to rest. 

> “Felix… did you leave the castle?” Felix became confused. What on earth had he asked? Felix never left. He wanted to for many times, but he never truly did. 
> 
> “No. Why?” 
> 
> “Oh… then you were just another illusion.” He said as he looked up at the ceiling. “I saw you so often near me on the battlefield. I would call for you but you would never respond. I had the feeling I had lost you forever.” 
> 
> “Well… I’m here.” Felix still didn't know how to react to all of this. This was nothing like the Dimitri he had dealt with. He still tried to hide his true emotions. He didn't want to be too forgiving and loving again. 
> 
> “Rest Dimitri. You’re hurt.” He kept his voice low. 

Dimitri nodded and bit down on his lower lip. He assumed this Felix was real. This one at the very least was talking back to him. Maybe this one would eventually disappear as well. He held onto his hand, he traced the top of his hand with his fingers. This was his Felix, not some fake illusion like his father and mother begging to bring them justice. This was his Felix that he now had to take care of. 

He dozed off and finally found good rest. Felix then left the room. Dedue was right, he did need to let him rest. He locked the door to still find Dedue standing by it. Sylvain was talking to Ingrid when he walked out. He turned to see Felix. 

> “How was he?” Sylvain asked when Felix walked over to them. 
> 
> “He seemed to be better. No longer as hostile.” Felix said pushed back his hair. 

Ingrid paused for a moment before she spoke, “after his wounds, he had calmed down. He called out for you for so long afterwards.” Felix felt terrible once more again. “it was… after your father died.” And the anger came back. His father… died? That boar let his father die for him? 

He never was too close with his father. Ever since Glenn died he always grew so distant from him. His father always wanted him to be this perfect little doll just to let the king do as he wanted and pleased. He never was a son to him, he was just a vessel to strengthen the bonds between their houses. 

Maybe this was why Dimitri was so kind now. He didn’t actually want to fix their marriage, he just felt guilty for having another’s blood on his hands, let alone his father in law. He didn’t care for Felix, he just wanted to relieve his guilty conscious. 

He own guilty conscious he felt was relieved in its own. He didn’t know whether to be angry or deeply upset about his father’s passing. He wanted to cry about his father dying, he wanted to cry so badly, but he couldn't no matter how hard he tried. 

> “I’m sorry Felix.” Ingrid said, breaking up his thoughts.
> 
> “It’s alright. That old man had a death wish anyways.” He said with a crack in his voice. 

Ingrid tried to grab at his hand to comfort him, to which he quickly pulled away. She was too bold in doing so. She thought physical comfort would really help him in this moment, she clearly was away from him for so long. 

Sylvain looked over to Felix, he could tell that Felix was not alright. He could tell he felt guilty, because he was feeling the exact same way. Yes, Felix and him were in love, but now that Dimitri was present in their lives again, and neither could deny the immense guilt they both had felt. His presence ruined every good feeling. 

> “I’m going to let him rest. Get me when he wakes fully.” Felix ordered Ingrid. She normally wouldn't follow his orders without some form of complaint, they were childhood friends after all. But this was different. This would be for her king, and so she nodded as he turned. 
> 
> He started to walk away, but then Sylvain caught up and walked next to him. “Wait Felix!” Felix stopped to let him catch up, but walked slowly as he got closer. 
> 
> When they were further away from earshot Sylvain turned and whispered, “what did he say?” 
> 
> Felix sighed. There was no point in hiding the truth from Sylvain. “He is not like himself. He seemed… off… regretful… sorrowful.” He paused before he spoke again. “He said he wanted to be a better husband… that he wanted to fix our marriage.” He looked up. 
> 
> Sylvain thought for a moment, “is that what you want?” 
> 
> “I don’t know yet… I don’t know.” He shuffled his feet. “All I know is I still want you. But not now. Not anytime soon. But I still care for you Sylvain.” 

Sylvain smiled. He knew that meant he would never hold Felix in his arms again. He would always have Felix from afar. Maybe a small kiss once in awhile but their real relationship had come to a complete stop, as it should. Their relationship never should've started in the first place. 

> “Good.” Sylvain swallowed. “Cause I will always be here for you Felix. No matter how you want me, I will be here.” It was true what he had said. Granted, he wished the two of them could've run away, away from all their troubles and gossip and attachments, he would still want to be in Felix’s life no matter what he was to him. 


	6. Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end! I Think there will be one more chapter after this one, still will have to finish it though. It's almost done! Hope you all enjoy this! What a god damn mess am I right? Oh Felix.

The next few weeks Dimitri spent recovering, he spent majorly with Felix and Dedue. Dedue would always be there to protect his King, to which Felix found his loyalty to be unnerving at times. Dedue would do anything for Dimitri, so if he ever knew about Sylvain, Felix would be done for. 

Dimitri sat with Felix in the gardens, the same place Sylvain had kissed his lips. He was still very weary from his wounds. He typically could only be walking and out and about for only an hour. He sat with Felix, examining his arm. 

> “I’m sorry about your father Felix.” He said in such a hoarse voice. His death meant something to Dimitri as well, that was his father in law, the man who ended up caring more for him in the long run. Felix didn’t really know what to say. He certainly was upset at the death of his father but never enough to cry upon days for. 

> “I just want to know how and why.” Felix was still so kurt with Dimitri, he didn't want to open his emotions up again to a man that quickly changed his tune. 
> 
> “I accepted my fate. A little girl from the Adrestian Empire tried to kill me. I thought it only fair, for I did such awful things to her brother. But… Rodrigue stepped in the way.” 
> 
> Felix scoffed at the very notion. Of course his father would be so foolish to throw away his life for his son-in-law. “How reckless of the both of you.” 
> 
> “I agree.” The moment was silent for a few seconds. “I cared little for my own life. I was only thinking selfishly. I didn’t care if I died, for a knew in time I had to pay my dues. I didn’t think about what that would do to the the kingdom.” He grabbed at Felix’s hand. “Or you.” Felix’s eyebrows furrowed. 
> 
> “I couldn’t leave you alone in this world Felix, I’m so sorry I was selfish enough to almost do so.” 
> 
> “Well… it was selfish.” Felix began before he was interrupted by Dimitri’s intense coughing. Some blood even leaked from his mouth; he was seriously hurt. “But… I wouldn't like to live this world without you much either.” Such vulnerable things to say, and meaning it too, so horrible. 
> 
> Dimitri smiled and coughed a little again. “Your Highness, I think it is perhaps time you should retire to your bed.” Dedue said starting to help Dimitri up. 
> 
> “Perhaps you are right Dedue.” He turned to Felix. “Will you join me my dear?” 

> Felix bit on his lower lip. It certainly wasn't late enough to go to bed just the moment. “Not at the moment. I would like to stay in the gardens for awhile longer.” Dimitri nodded, and Dedue helped Dimitri to the palace. 

Felix spent the rest of the hours resting with Sylvain. Saying the same kind things he had just said to Dimitri. When it was late enough he retired to bed and slept next to Dimitri once again. 

* * *

The coming weeks Dimitri always was around Felix. He spent most of his time trying to mend their marriage once again. Eventually Felix let down his walls and started to open up to Dimitri again. He started to fall in love all over. 

He always loved him in some sense. And thats what made him feel so awful. He couldn’t say a word. No matter how hard he tried to tell him, he couldn’t. Every moment he had the chance to do so, the words never escaped. He couldn't say it. Perhaps it would be just a secret he would keep. 

> Felix looked up at Dimitri when they laid together in the library. Dedue walked in, and bowed. “My apologizes your majesties. I believe his Highness should return to rest.” 

Felix sat up, and helped Dimitri do the same. Felix nodded. He should leave, it had been a few hours he was out of the room. 

> Dimitri spoke, “thank you Dedue. I must confess I am not feeling to well at the moment anyways.” He looked to Felix, “forgive me my love, I must rest.” 
> 
> Felix nodded. “it’s alright.” Dimitri was helped by Dedue to stand up. Felix looked at him as he left. “I think I’m going to stay awake a little while longer. I just started a new book.” Dimitri nodded. 
> 
> “All right. I’ll wait for you to return to our bed.” And Dimitri left the library with Dedue. 

Sylvain eventually joined Felix in the library. They weren’t as intimate as they usually were. At the most, Felix laid on Sylvain’s shoulder. Their time together was mostly silent. They didn’t have much to talk about these days. It was just their presence that helped one another. 

When Dedue helped Dimitri down in his bed, he stood over Dimitri and looked down on him laying there. It was clear to Dimitri that Dedue wanted to say something but couldn’t. 

> “Dedue, you look as if you have something to say.” 
> 
> “You know me too well your Highness.” Dedue shuffled his feet. 
> 
> “Please speak my friend. We should not keep secrets from one another.” He said adjusting himself to sit up. 
> 
> “I’m afraid it might not be my secret to tell.” He paused for just a moment. “But I feel as if you should know it… but I can’t find the words to express it.” 
> 
> Dimitri nodded, a bit tense. “It’s alright… I can handle it.” 
> 
> Dedue couldn't say the words so loud, he leaned down to whisper in his ear. Dimitri tensed up as the words reached his ears. 
> 
> “How do you know of this?” Dimitri said as his eyes started to water. 

> Dedue sat up. He knew what he just said had just damaged his king. He hated to see him so upset, but he knew that his Highness should know the truth. “A noblewoman, who caught them in the act.” He paused. “A few servants also reported to see them together.” 
> 
> Dimitri sat there, a tear fell down his cheek. His opened his mouth, but then closed it again. He didn’t know what to say. 
> 
> “Thank you… Dedue. For informing me.” He sat there, letting the tear drops fall on his stomach. Dedue sat there, destroyed at the sheer image of Dimitri looking so vulnerable as he did only a few months ago. 

It was cruel of Felix and Sylvain to do such a thing to him. Dedue felt anger towards them. Dimitri deserved better than this, but he knew down deep in his heart that Dimitri would still stay with Felix, as he felt like home to him. 

> “I’m very sorry your Majesty.” Dedue bowed. 
> 
> “No, no. It’s alright. I’m glad you told me.” He paused and swallowed down the lump in his throat. “But, I would like to be alone for now.” Dimitri said as he started to hug at his knees. 
> 
> “Absolutely. Please rest well your Highness.” Dedue bowed and started to make his way to the door. 

Once Dimitri was all alone, he wailed alone in his room. He thought he was fixing things once again with Felix. He wanted to be with Felix, but he couldn't with Sylvain also sharing his bed. 

After a few hours Dimitri whipped away his tears and collected himself. His anger once again boiled up inside him. Anger at Felix, but mostly at Sylvain. He was tasked to protect him, not fuck him. What a whore, so low that he would sleep with another man’s husband. 

Where was Felix now? Probably with him and all of his filth. Letting his hands touch every part of his body, making him twist with the words and motions. Making him breathe and moan to the shape of his body. Things he had done with him, things that Dimitri did to him since they were 17.

He sat there wanting to do all of those things to Felix now. He wanted him to twist his face as he plowed into him. Felix returned only thirty minutes after Dedue left. He closed the door quietly, unaware that Dimitri was still awake. 

He went under the covers, Dimitri turned to Felix. Felix looked at him, touching his forehead with his. Dimitri wanted to say something to him, he wanted to tell him that he knew every little dark secret that he had. 

Secretly Dimitri knew down deep in side that he didn’t blame Felix greatly. He knew he was a terrible husband to him for such a long time, he was mad at Sylvain for taking advantage of Felix’s loneliness and emotions. 

Something in Dimitri took over him. He crawled over top of Felix, and looked down at him. Felix was taken aback for a moment. He slept next to Dimitri for few months and Dimitri never insinuated the start intimacy between the two of them. He was unaware if it was because of the gap in their marriage or his wounds. 

He laid above Felix and started to kiss at his neck. This reminded Felix of what Sylvain had done to him. Dimitri touched all over Felix and watched as he twisted his face and curled his fingers on Dimitri’s shoulder. 

For an hour, Dimitri plowed into Felix. The whole time he sat there wanting to make Felix happy. He wanted to be better than Sylvain. He wanted to make Felix completely forget about Sylvain. He wanted to share his bed for the rest of their lives. 

> Felix half eyes closed looked up at Dimitri, he let out and intense moan and laid his head back. “Dimitri…” He croaked out. “I’ve… I’ve missed this.” He said. He wasn't lying when he said this. A part of him always wanted this with Dimitri. 

Dimitri didn’t know if he could truly believe him, but he wanted to. It was him that Felix was thinking about, it was him that made Felix turn and moan. 

When they finished Felix laid next to Dimitri watching his chest move up and down. It should’ve been this way always but it wasn’t. He missed Dimitri he did, but he also missed Sylvain sleeping next to him. 

Dimitri also watched Felix catch his breath, and scanned his body. The body he had become so used to, the body he he mapped out since he was young. And the body that Sylvain had seen. 

He wanted to say something to Felix. He wanted to let him know but a part of him couldn’t. He needed to confront Sylvain. It was Sylvain’s fault in the end. It was his seductive ways that led him into Felix’s bed. 

He needed him to disappear. He needed him out of his sight. And he would in time. He would get his revenge. But tonight, he watched Felix and knew that in the end he had won. Felix would stay with him, he just needed Sylvain to disappear. 


End file.
